Saturday, July 30, 2005

Celiberals Part 1

Yesterday, I posted some thoughts about Helen Thomas, celebrity journalist, and Alec Baldwin, celebrity actor. I called them Celiberals. That is because I found this great website while looking for the exact quote from Alec Baldwin that I was intending to use for my post. After that, I continued to read what celiberals had to say about Republicans, Conservatives, the war, and President Bush et al. In keeping with my vow to keep my posts light on the weekends due to the inevitable lack of weekend readership, I am going to post some of the better quotes here. This should be fun!

About President Bush: "It's hard for me to have a respect for a guy who never held a job until he was 40."--Ben Affleck

"If George W. Bush is elected president, I'm leaving for France."
"[it would be a] catastrophe for the world if George Bush is elected. You won't see me for dust. I for one will be leaving the country and living in France."
"Here's what I really said. I said that if Bush gets elected, I'll move to Paris, Texas, because the state will be better off if he's out of it."
"This present government in America I just find disgusting, the idea that George Bush could run a baseball team successfully -he can't even speak! I just find him an embarrassment. I was over here when the election was on and I couldn't believe it -and I'm 76 years old. Then when the Supreme Court came in and turned out to be a totally political animal, the last shred of any naivete that was left in me has gone. When I see an American flag flying, it's a joke."
--Robert Altman

Mr. Altman is still living in America, But not in Texas.

"Bush is a f**king idiot."--Jennifer Aniston

This from a woman who never went to college.

"What I think we should do is draw up a petition, everybody sign in crayon, and then he'll [Bush] understand."--Joy Behar

"I don't think that [U.S. President] George a man of honor."

"I think he has a very selfish, arrogant point of view. I think he is interested in power, I think he believes his truth is the only truth, and that he will do what he wants to do despite the people."
--Harry Belafonte

This isn't funny, really, it's just pathetic that he is so....well, pathetic. Still the man is entitled to his opinion. He is also entitled to be ignorant if he chooses.

"The real terrorist threats are George W. Bush and his band of brown-shirted thugs."

"... Any thinking person who lives in the world would be disturbed at what's going on right now. I think Bush is amateurish and self-serving...."
"I don't think he's an informed person, or intelligent, or interesting. I think he got waylaid into the job by his family, he's in over his head, and he's kind of a dunce."
--Sandra Bernhard

I don't happen to think Sandra is funny, and never have.

"And I certainly would never wish a president any sort of harm -out loud. It's not in my heart to do such a thing to any human being. I wish all people only the best at all times -out loud. Especially the president. Because even though I disagree with his policies, and think he is a dangerous imbecile, he is, after all, the President of all of us, and he is a fellow human being, deserving of respect. (That was hard to say, but I wanted to keep the record straight.) "--George Carlin

Well, at least he is TRYING to be respectful.

"I don't like Bush. I don't trust him. I don't like his record. He's stupid. He's lazy."--Cher

Smart woman, I bet it didn't take her longer than a couple of months to learn to spell her own name.

"The problem is we elected a manager, and we need a leader. Let's face it: Bush is just dim."
"I'm not the person to be sending messages to Bush. I'm not smart enough and I don't know enough about what's going on,....I just want it to be talked about and discussed a lot more before one man makes a decision to go in and bomb."--George Clooney

At least he admits he's not intelligent. So why does he bother to comment about something he admits he knows nothing about? (probably the same reason I do)

"Bush means Dick Cheney, Tom DeLay, and all these f*cking crypto-fascists are gonna get in and start carving up the pie and handing in all their markers to the Republican Party that's been itching to get back into power."
"... I'm not saying I loved Gore, but I'm saying I don't want that mother-f*cking Bush in the White House."
--John Cusack

Uh, Don't look now, John, but the Republicans ARE back in power!

In response to George W. Bush's administration for its criticism of French opposition to the U.S.-led war in Iraq, "I was ecstatic they re-named 'French Fries' as 'Freedom Fries'. Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots."--Johnny Depp
Claiming his words were taken out of context, Depp later said, "What I was saying was that, compared to Europe, America is a very young country and we are still growing as a nation. My deepest apologies to those who were offended, affected, or hurt by this insanely twisted deformation of my words and intent."

Hmmmm, maybe we'll make a Republican of him yet!

"I don't have all the facts, and who knows what's really the truth, but I don't really respect his (Bush's) way of dealing with this situation. It would have been great to have someone really, really smart in that office, and someone who is globally aware."--Sandy Duncan

It's so nice to know that Sandy is keeping an "eye" out for us.

"I was old enough to vote the last time, (but) I didn't. I am going to vote because anybody is better than George W. Bush.
"It's scary what we're doing to the environment, and I'm scared that maybe (the war on Iraq) is going to get a lot worse before it gets better."
Kirsten Dunst

That's nice, Kirsten, come along now, put the crayons down, put your helmet back on and join the rest of the group. We're having kool-aid and cookies! With raisins! You like raisins!

"F--k money. I don't rap for dead presidents. I'd rather see the president dead. It's never been said, but I set precedents and the standards and they can't stand it. ... We as Americans. Us as a citizen. We've got to protect ourselves ..."--Eminem
Ok. This guy is dangerous. Call the secret service.

"[Bush is a] sad figure: not too well educated, who doesn't get out of America much. He's leading the country towards fascism."
"It's all the same to me, he wouldn't understand the word fascism anyway."
Larry Hagman

Another genius telling us Bush is stupid. Anyone notice a theme here? I wonder if Larry knows what fascism is.

"I haven't even been drinking, but, at all, but, you know, being a man, I've got to say that we've got this guy in the White House who thinks he is a man, you know, who projects himself as a man because he has a certain masculinity, and he's a good old boy, and he used to drink, and he knows how to shoot a gun and how to drive a pickup truck, etcetera like that. That's not the definition of a man, God Dammit!"--Ed Harris

But this is:

"She [my wife] has educated me over the 20 years we have been together to the point where she's got me in her hip pocket."--henpecked Ed Harris

"I think that George W. Bush is probably the least prepared person to be president of the United States that's been elected in a long time, if not ever. Clinton is a self-made man. He actually came to it with a desire to do good. Think about it ... we have an ex-coke fiend as a president. And he has a sense of entitlement that I think Bill Clinton never had. Had he had it, he would have said, 'I'm not going to go under oath about my sexual affairs, it's not relevant to my presidency.' Martin Luther King suffered from infidelity, and so did John F. Kennedy. And you're much more likely to find great leadership coming from a man who likes to have sex with a lot of women than one who is monogamous. . . ."--Ethan Hawke

Geeeez, How out of touch with reality can you get?

I hate Bush...I despise him and his entire administration....what Bush intends to do with Iraq is unconstitutional, immoral and illegal."--Jessica Lange

Perhaps the big monkey could do better?

"Since when is offensive language a reason for being unpopular? I find the language of George W much more offensive."--Madonna

Oh yeah, She's the expert on what's offensive. Come to think of it, maybe she is!

"The Governor of California was removed from office based on finance troubles. And yet George W. Bush has lied to us, failed to keep our own borders secure, entered a war under false pretense, endangered lives, and created financial chaos. How is it that he hasn't been recalled? Perhaps this time we could even have a rBut election...but that wouldn't fit the Bush administration's 'take what you want and fire people later' policy. Take an election; take an oil field; take advantage of your own people--a game of political Three-Card Monte."--
John Mellencamp

Actually, I agree with the keeping our borders secure thing. But that's the only part I agree with.

...I want whoever is running our country to succeed. Every time I hear Bush speak, I'm like, 'Oh, just get through this sentence, get through it.' And it's like, 'Whew!'"--Alyssa Milano

Yeah. What she said. Uh.....What did she say?

Speaking about 9/11, "Many families have been devastated tonight. This just is not right. They did not deserve to die. If someone did this to get back at Bush, then they did so by killing thousands of people who DID NOT VOTE for him! Boston, New York, DC, and the planes' destination of California -- these were places that voted AGAINST Bush!"

"... You know he's [Bush] there illegally. You know he was not elected either by the popular vote or by the vote in Florida."

"... we know all those facts about Florida and what Katherine Harris did, and the private firm that took African-Americans off the voting rolls and prohibited them from voting. But I've been surprised in this first week how many average Americans were not aware of all of the trickery and deceit that took place in the year before the election to fix it for George W. Bush."

To Bush, "The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction."

To Bush, "As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them."
So" ... How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war?"

To Bush, "... Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can't get out of." --Michael Moore

Dude, You are soooo far off base on the 9/11 thing! They were attacked because The WTC represents America's economic power in the world, the Pentagon was attacked because it represents America's military power. And the 4th plane was heading for the White House when it crashed, America's symbol of Political power.

And after all the vote recounts, some of which were done unconstitutionally to appease the Democrats, they still added up to a Bush win.

And, I hate to tell you this, well...actually I like telling you this, but the President is very popular. You should be so popular, but as long as you are being a socialist, you never will be.

"Bush should have died, not Reagan" --Morrissey

I've never heard of this guy. I asked my son, who is pretty hip on new artists, and he doesn't know who he is either, but he has the celiberal lines down pretty good. He certainly sounds like the guy you would like to have as a son-in-law, though, doesn't he?

"As an actor I know in my mind, watching him [Bush], what a low-quality mind he has. Because I've been doing this since I was 5 years old, I know when a person is saying words that aren't their own -- and it's apparent as it could possibly be to me that he's a mouthpiece, and not even a good mouthpiece. [Ronald] Reagan was a B-movie actor, but at least he had the ability to touch certain emotional notes. Bush is just utterly incapable of it." --Edward Norton

Wow. I never would have guessed. Bush must be a better actor than Mr. Norton, if he had me fooled, because I can tell when Ed is acting.

Ozzy Osbourne

Osbourne opened his concert with the song "War Pigs," featuring a video portrait comparing Bush to Adolph Hitler.
The video featured Bush and Hitler on the same screen, with the caption: "Same sh*t different a**hole," says a source. Footage of bombs dropping and Hitler marching flashed as Ozzy screamed and guitars screeched.
Ozzy also flashed a picture of Bush with a clown nose, caption: 'The White House Circus."

Do I need to comment at all? Anyone that's seen this guys TV show knows what he doesn't.

"I think George Bush is such an embarrassment to America in the way that he doesn't take the rest of the world into consideration." --Gwyneth Paltrow

Wait. Tell me again...Who is an embarrassment?

"With three Supreme Court positions opening in the next administration, I'm frightened to think of a Republican in office, especially one raised by a father who was in the CIA. I'm moving to a different country if little Damien II gets elected." --Somebody with Pearl Jam

Another one that hasn't moved yet. Oh, why can't they keep their promises?

"He's embarrassing. He's not my president. He will never be my president." --Julia Roberts

Oh, No! Not Pretty Woman! Interesting enough, Julia's brother, Eric, has weighed in on the President, too. He considers Bush a "fascist" and a co-conspirator (with Osama bin Laden) in deliberately "wrecking the American economy." You remember him don't you? He's the guy Julia's brother.

"He [Bush] is supposed to be America's president, but he's not my president, I didn't vote for him." --Carlos Santana

Somehow that news fails to disquiet me. There's something about being an immigrant that has lived the proverbial American dream, and now disses his President that does disquiet me, though.

"We stand a chance of getting a president who has probably killed more people before he gets into office than any president in the history of the United States." --Susan Sarandon

(In My best Ben Stein voice) Anyone know what the hell she's talking about? Anyone? Anyone?

"George W Bush is like a bad comic working the crowd, a moron, if you'll pardon the expression" --Martin Sheen

Another genius with only a high school education commenting on Bush's intelligence

"[Bush says] 'We're pursuing terrorists. No, George, you're not. You're a flake. Be serious..." --Oliver Stone

He's not?? Apparently Mr. Stone has information the rest of us poor slobs don't. Oh, please enlighten us, Oliver, sir.

"As we have learned in the past weeks, we cannot trust George W. Bush.
"We have a president who stole the presidency through family ties, arrogance and intimidation, employing Republican operatives to exercise the tactics of voter fraud by disenfranchising thousands of blacks, elderly Jews and other minorities."
--Barbra Streisand

Oh, really. Are you disenfranchized, Babs? And who should we trust? You? Please!

"I'm ABB - Anybody But Bush." --Uma Thurman

I'm ABU.

We’re here tonight because of the Shrub, you know who I’m talking about. George W. Bush, Jr. The W stands for ‘where the Hell is it?’ You know, you look at George W. and you realize some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some get it as a graduation gift. So sad. I just want to ask the Secret Service, is it true that his Secret Service code name is Gilligan?"
"We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself."
"Bush is complaining about a lack of intelligence, which seems sort of redundant..."
--Robin Williams

Nanoo nanoo. This guy used to be funny. Now he's just pathetic.

Well, friends, that's all I have for today. Stay tuned. I will post more tommorrow.


The WordSmith from Nantucket said...

Great stuff, Mark. That's absolutely rich. I was thinking about raiding Barbra Streisand's site for some great quotes from her. Recently, I was on Tom Laughlin's (Billy Jack) site and must say, he makes Michael Moore look like a radical moderate centrist!

I seriously can't believe how much nonsensical drivel comes out of these mouths. The cookie-cutter statements on Bush is stupid, Bush is evil, is just so far removed from any sense of reality.

I actually love that he drives Leftists crazy, because it means he is doing something right. In 50 years from now, I think he will be remembered as one of the greatest presidents this country has ever seen; a leader who wasn't afraid to think big and make the big changes in the world for the better.

mlwhitt said...

Wow, can you believe the stupidity in Hollywood. I would love to see a conservative director make a spoof off all these Celiberals.

Mark said...

There's more coming. Much more.
HAHAHAHAHA! (evil laugh)

Toad734 said...

I don't get it whats the point, I agree with at least half of these.

As far as the Ethan Hawk comment goes, Hitler never cheated on Eva while Roosevelt, Churchill, King, Kennedy and Clinton all had mistrisses.

How can you not agree with Harry Belfonte?

Mark said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mark said...

"Hitler never cheated on Eva while Roosevelt, Churchill, King, Kennedy and Clinton all had mistrisses."

You are implying that a man cannot be a great leader if he is not promiscuous? That is simply ludicrous. If you really believe that, you are a moron.

Clinton was not a great leader, Not by a long shot. Maybe he could have been if he had not spent all 8 years in office defending himself against a myriad of charges ranging from adultery to felony perjury, which he was guilty of, for which he should have not only been removed from office but also should have gone to jail.
The only thing your argument proves is that the man had no self control, which is reason enough that he not to be allowed to make life and death decisions. The man had the power to push the button effectively ending the world and he didn't even have the good judgement to keep his penis in his pants. How could a man like that be trusted to make important decisions regarding the security of the United States?

Poison Pero said...

Great link to the "Celibs"......I'm pretty sure I'll be referrencing that bad boy quite often.

When I'm getting a little low for the "Liberal Jackass Quote of the Day Blog" I'll make sure to hit this site up.

Lores Rizkalla said...

"I think he has a very selfish, arrogant point of view. I think he is interested in power, I think he believes his truth is the only truth, and that he will do what he wants to do despite the people."--Harry Belafonte

I'm confused. I thought that liberals were bashing conservatives. This one, with Belafonte trashing the Clintons, must have gotten mixed up in the bunch.

rich bachelor said...

Jeez, sorry that those folks on the silver screen don't like your boyfriend there,Maness.
But didn't folks like yourself spend eight years bashing Clinton, who was easily the most Republican Democrat I've ever seen? He was president too, and according to what I've heard from y'all, that automatically accords respect.
And it doesn't, of course, if you're a thinking person. People can not like presidents all they like. Even celebrities.
As everyone's favorite educator, Xena, likes to say, you can't have it both ways.

Mark said...

Bachelor, If you are referring to people like me telling the truth about Clinton for 8 years, it is quite different from libs calling the president names and and accusing him of being a liar and a terrorist and a traitor. After all he never gave missle technology to the Chinese. And he never perjured himself before a grand jury.

Mark said...

I think I've figured you out, Bachelor, you are just contrary. Whatever the point is you feel the need to argue. You don't really believe what you say.

Mary said...

Very funny list, Mark.

If you're looking to be entertained, look no further than the ridiculous comments made by these spoiled celebrities posing as deep thinkers.

"The leadership of the Republican Party are a bunch of sociopathic maniacs who have their lips super-glued to the ass of the conservative right."