Sunday, August 07, 2005

PC Mascots and Other Silly Stuff

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
If you shoot a mime, do you need a silencer?
How can you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
Does the little mermaid wear an "algebra"?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
Is it ever possible to have a "civil" war?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar, do you believe him?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?
If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?
Is there a Dr. Salt?
Isn't it a little scary that a doctor's work is called "practice"?
Why does the word "monosyllabic" have so many syllables?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What's another word for thesaurus?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
How come you never hear about gruntled employees?
Where are Preparations A through G?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

And my personal favorite:

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?


I was listening to the Rush Limbaugh radio program on Friday when he brought up this story:

Fed up with what it considers "hostile" and "abusive" American Indian nicknames, the NCAA announced Friday it would shut those words and images out of postseason tournaments, a move that left some school officials angry and threatening legal action.

Starting in February, any school with a nickname or logo considered racially or ethnically "hostile" or "abusive" by the NCAA would be prohibited from using them in postseason events.

Rush then wondered aloud what names the offending Universities would adopt instead. So do I.

I am looking forward to the day when I can watch a bowl game between the North Dakota Fighting Displaced Native American Victims of American Atrocities vs. the Oklahoma State Rapers and Pillagers of Tradition Rich Native American Tribes.

I would be interested in hearing what names my blogger friends can cook up. Let's hear it!


rich bachelor said...

I don't have any name suggestions right off hand, but what's up with the ruling only affecting postseason events? I mean, if they're really honestly thinking that these particular word choices are so damaging, then why keep 'em at all?
Mind you, does this also mean that any team called The Warriors (and there's lots) need to start calling themselves...I dunno; The Diplomats, or something?
Fave team names from Oregon: The Seaside Seagulls, the Tillamook Cheesemakers and the...Nope. Tillamook wins that one, hands down.

Lores Rizkalla said...

I'm not good with coming up with names. But, i'm chiming in anyway :)

One of the things that bothers me most about this is the assumption that the name has a negative connotation. I went to a high school whose mascot was the "Warrior." And, after years of debate, the name was change. I think it's "Wildcats" now. Not sure.

In any case, the name "Warrior" engendered such pride and confidence. There was a winning spirit that came with that name. I wonder about other names like "Braves," etc.

In an attempt to honor a people, we may be insulting them.

mlwhitt said...

As to the "Will there ever be a "civil" war..." Thank you I know have Guns N Roses stuck in my head.

MadMustard said...

Mark, here is another conundrum: How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

Mark said...

I went to Wichita State. People think their mascot is an electrifying "Shocker", but in truth the mascot is a Wheatshocker. What is a wheatshocker, one might ask? The farmer guy that bundles cut wheat together and leaves them out standing in the field. That's my "shockers"....Outstanding in their field.

Mark said...

There's a high school near here called Mussleman and of course, they are the "Applemen"

Erudite Redneck said...

Rich, the NCAA doesn't have the authority to tell the schools what to do except in post-season play, which is sanctioned by the NCAA.

This is an arrogant ruling by the NCAA -- as are ALL attempts to tell local schools and other local institutions what to do with these names and mascots.

Take Southeastern Oklahoma State University, in Durant, OK. The school has what is probably the single most potentially offensive mascot: The Savages. However, the student body is more than 25 percent American Indian, mostly Choctaw. As far as I know, the only serious opposition to it has come from activists from outside the community.

The only fair answer to this, for public schools and universities, is this: An election. Figuring out who gets to vote might be a problem. American Indian students and their parents get to vote. Just ask 'em what they think. Some schools will go one way and some will go another. There is not the agreement among tribal members that the politically correct bunch wants to pretend there is.

By the way, the Oklahoma State Abusers of Bovines and Tramplers of Noble Native American Ancestral Land Rights play the University of Oklahoma Sneak Thieves of Aboriginal Homelands on Thanksgiving Day -- no, wait, on The Day for Silent Reflection on the God or Goddess of Your Personal, Nonoffensive Choice, Or Not -- this year. Y'all tune in.

tugboatcapn said...

The wife graduated from FSU, and was a Seminole Marching Chief trumpet player.
This is a REEEEEAL touchy subject around here.
The maddening thing about this whole issue is that no ACTUAL Native Americans have complained about it.
This whole mess has been created by politically correct, panty-waist, snivelling little civil rights activist white people Who should be told to sit down and shut up.

Mark said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mark said...

"...Oklahoma State Abusers of Bovines and Tramplers of Noble Native American Ancestral Land Rights play the University of Oklahoma Sneak Thieves of Aboriginal Homelands on Thanksgiving Day -- no, wait, on The Day for Silent Reflection on the God or Goddess of Your Personal, Nonoffensive Choice, Or Not -- "

LOL. Now, that's the spirit!

Michael said...

Someone is trying sell fightin whities merchandise in order to fight the use of Native American stereotypes. I personally think it is hillarious and I am in no way offended.

Poison Pero said...

All I know is I'm Irish, and highly resent the name of the Fighting Irish..

May as well call them the Dirty Catholic Irish, or the Drunken Irish, or the Brawling Irish.

This really pisses me off........Alright, it doesn't. I just hate Notre Dame. LOL!

tugboatcapn said...

Xena has a post today on this same subject. check it out if you get a chance.

tugboatcapn said...

Mark, this is kind of off the subject, but have you heard the PC version of "Old MacDonald's Farm?"

"Senior Citizen MacDonald had an agriculture collective...
And on this collective he had free-range poultry...
With a stereotypical chicken noise here, and a stereotypical chicken noise there..."

You get the picture...

Anonymous said...

If it was the Oklahoma Niggers, you'd have a problem with it. As a Native American, I have a problem with people using our tribal names. Native Americans did complain and do complain. I don't know who told that they didn't but they lied to you. A quick check of the web will show you many Native American organizations with Native American members oppose such names.

What are the names we complain about? Not The Savages. We were no more savage than the whites. Not The Warriors. We were warriors, yes, but many races can claim that. Apaches? Yes, we have a problem with that. Medicine Men? Yes, we have a problem with that. We also have a problem with mascots that depict us in less than flattering terms. We always protrayed as half naked savages with weapons. We've come a long way baby.

It's easy for people who are outside a minority group to claim that the minority is over-sensitive. I wish you could walk a mile or two in our shoes. Just because I'm Native American I've had employers assume that I might have a drinking problem. I've had store owners follow me because they're worried that I or my family might steal. One even told me that he didn't mind me being in his store because I was a "good Indian".

I want my children to have it better than me. I don't want them judged by the color of their skin or the fact that they are Native American. You're trying to defend sterotypes and bigotry by saying that it shouldn't matter and that people know better. Guess what, you white honky mothers, people don't. I hope you weren't offended by the racial slur but I'm sure you're not over-sensitive.

Native American and Damn Proud of It

Mark said...

You may be proud of being native american but you must not be too proud of your opinion, other wise you might not be anonymous. and by the way, I am 1/6th Cherokee, and calling a Seminole a Seminole doesn't offend me. Neither does calling an Indian an Indian, or a Brave a Brave. These are all positive characterizations. You have an attitude problem and yes, you are a minority. Most Native Americams are not offended.

Anonymous said...

Yeah. You really look Native American. Not. When was the last time you voted in a tribal election or went to an Indian hospital. You can't speak for any Native American but you. I've been in many tribal meetings with other Native Americans and listened to them talk about the prejudice shown them. 1/6? Why don't you trot your mostly white bod to some Native American sites and see what they have to say about it? Oh that's research and you're proud of your uneducated uninformed opinions. Guess you wouldn't crack open a history book. And anonymous? It would figure that you'd focus on that rather than anything else in my comment. Pick on what you can attack. Delete both comments. I won't be back to read this bigoted trash.

Joseph (and screw you is my last name)

Mark said...

geeeez I hope no one lets that guy have a gun. He is seriously whacked.

Erudite Redneck said...

That there is a Rez Indian. They have always hated the so-called "civilized" tribes in Oklahoma. You get used to it. The funny thing, he just did the same kind of thing he would condemn whites for: Lumping all native tribes into one. There is no one tribal opinion on native issues, because there is no one tribe. And if, as I suspect (based on his attack on your one-sixth Indianness) that he hasn't mich use for the mixed-heritage of the tribes around here (Oklahoma), then, well he can stay away, because he is as bigoted of an ass as he wants to accuse white of being. And he can bite my 63-64ths white arse.

david said...

Another silly observation: If a mime gets arrested, does he still have to be advised of his right to remain silent?