The Begatting of Dissension

In the beginning, Bush created a Republican administration.. And darkness was upon the face of the Democrats.
And Bush looked, and saw that it was good.

But then, a false prophet, a son of Ishmael, rose up, and fell upon the people of US, and slew three thousand of them, and brought down their towers.

And there were wailings and lamentations in the land.

And lo, Bush was sore aggrieved. And he called upon the people to gird up their loins, and fall upon the people of al-Qaida, and slay them. And the armies of US rose up, and fell upon the people of al-Qaida and plundered their caves, and SAC’d their cities, and drove them out before themselves with fire from the sky, and from the earth.

But the evil one rose up, and hid them from Bush, saying, “Thou usurper king in the house of Clinton, Thou hast invaded our lands and defiled our sacrifices. Thou shalt be accursed.”

There were people in the land of US, who were called the Democrats, and they were dissenters.

And the Democrats were afraid, and revolted against Bush, and called him all manner of vile things, and accused him of atrocities, and cried out for vengeance against him, saying, “Where are the Weapons of Mass Destruction. of which you speak? Thou hast broken the covenant that we have made with the children of Ishmael and brought judgment down upon us!”

And there arose between the followers of Teddy and the followers of Bush, a chasm which was called the Credibility Gap.

But still Bush did not relent and did not hearken to the cries of the dissenters. And the children of Ishmael ran to the hills and called for the rocks to fall upon them, to shield them from the wrath of Bush, and from his army.

And the evil one defied Bush, and Bush was wroth, and girded up his loins and drew his sword, and searched through the land for the evil one, and found him hiding in a spider hole, in fear of Bush’s terrible vengeance. And the evil one’s idols were destroyed, yea, even unto the tenth cubit. And the evil one was brought unto Baghdad, to stand before the court of judgment.

But the followers of Teddy and Durbin and Chuck and of all the leaders of the tribes from the left, and the Clintonites decried the triumph of Bush and rent their garments and gnashed their teeth, saying, ”What evil hast this man done, that thou hath defiled him and his sons? Thou hath angered the son’s of Ishmael, so that thou canst play Texas Ranger to the world.”

But their words were of sounding brass and a tinkling cymbal.

Thus did Bush conquer the evil one, but there remained unrest in the lands of the sons of Ishmael. And it was as dust and ashes in his mouth.

Wherefore I sayeth unto thee, my brethern, let us pray.

(more to come)