Monday, August 29, 2005

The Begatting of Dissension

In the beginning, Bush created a Republican administration.. And darkness was upon the face of the Democrats.
And Bush looked, and saw that it was good.

But then, a false prophet, a son of Ishmael, rose up, and fell upon the people of US, and slew three thousand of them, and brought down their towers.

And there were wailings and lamentations in the land.

And lo, Bush was sore aggrieved. And he called upon the people to gird up their loins, and fall upon the people of al-Qaida, and slay them. And the armies of US rose up, and fell upon the people of al-Qaida and plundered their caves, and SAC’d their cities, and drove them out before themselves with fire from the sky, and from the earth.

But the evil one rose up, and hid them from Bush, saying, “Thou usurper king in the house of Clinton, Thou hast invaded our lands and defiled our sacrifices. Thou shalt be accursed.”

There were people in the land of US, who were called the Democrats, and they were dissenters.

And the Democrats were afraid, and revolted against Bush, and called him all manner of vile things, and accused him of atrocities, and cried out for vengeance against him, saying, “Where are the Weapons of Mass Destruction. of which you speak? Thou hast broken the covenant that we have made with the children of Ishmael and brought judgment down upon us!”

And there arose between the followers of Teddy and the followers of Bush, a chasm which was called the Credibility Gap.

But still Bush did not relent and did not hearken to the cries of the dissenters. And the children of Ishmael ran to the hills and called for the rocks to fall upon them, to shield them from the wrath of Bush, and from his army.

And the evil one defied Bush, and Bush was wroth, and girded up his loins and drew his sword, and searched through the land for the evil one, and found him hiding in a spider hole, in fear of Bush’s terrible vengeance. And the evil one’s idols were destroyed, yea, even unto the tenth cubit. And the evil one was brought unto Baghdad, to stand before the court of judgment.

But the followers of Teddy and Durbin and Chuck and of all the leaders of the tribes from the left, and the Clintonites decried the triumph of Bush and rent their garments and gnashed their teeth, saying, ”What evil hast this man done, that thou hath defiled him and his sons? Thou hath angered the son’s of Ishmael, so that thou canst play Texas Ranger to the world.”

But their words were of sounding brass and a tinkling cymbal.

Thus did Bush conquer the evil one, but there remained unrest in the lands of the sons of Ishmael. And it was as dust and ashes in his mouth.

Wherefore I sayeth unto thee, my brethern, let us pray.

(more to come)


Erudite Redneck said...

You left out the part that explains the shift from the caves of Afghanistan to the Euphrates valley. The connection, tenuous though it may be, is there. But it requires splainin'. Even in this here allegory. :-) Because THAT"s where the dissent spawned.

Oh, and go to the, like, 55th comment on Tug's recent post for a story that splains the disarray among the Dems. The dissent ain't that cut-and-dried.


Mark said...

Yeah, I left out a lot more than that.

I blame it on poetic license.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Liam said...

Actually, I'd be curious to know that connection. I thought this war was just George Jr. trying to go one better than daddy.

Erudite Redneck said...

Well, the Bushies have always said that "the world changed" after 9/11 -- in other words, that along with the smoke from the WTC went our previous tolerance for the thug Saddam, especially in light of his violating the UN thing, especially further considering the belief -- held by most of the civilized world at the time -- that he had WMD (an assertion I still am not prepared to disbelieve).

Otherwise, there IS no connection between Afghanistan and Iraq, at all.

Lefties insist there was no connection. I accept the Bushies' claim that, while there was no direct connect between 9/11 and Iraq, it was high time to take Saddam OUT, in LIGHT of 9/11.

But then, I'm no Lefty when it comes to the military or using it.


mlwhitt said...

ROTFL that was too good Mark I had to include a short reading of it in my new Videoblog, loved it, will have to show it for sure to others, because that is some good stuff there.

tugboatcapn said...

Everybody go to American Mike's blog, and be sure your speakers are turned up.

tugboatcapn said...

I LOVE this post, Mark.
This is the funniest thing I have ever seen you write.
I can't wait for chapter two...

tugboatcapn said...

ER, I believe that the main reason for the majority of the dissent right now was that the 2000 election was way too close for comfort for both sides.
If President Bush had beaten the ever loving snot out of Algore, I believe that today's political landscape would look a lot different...

Lores Rizkalla said...

Creative and very clever, my friend. I thoroughly enjoyed this. Great job! :)

Poison Pero said...

Very good, Mark.......But nothing about Cheney or Haliburton???

You know "those 2 evil doers" are the ones controlling G.W.:)
Hey Press, glad to hear we are at least together on this one.

Francis Lynn said...

Great job, Mark

Daffy76 said...

Mark, I have to say I'm very impressed. To pull off the King James Version style you did with this post is very difficult for most people. Most people get their thees and thous so confused they can't think straight. I love it!

Mary said...

My sentiments exactly. I love it, Mark!

Very clever.