Great Lines

I have just decided that I have 2 personalities, at least for blogging purposes. One personality is an idiot. The other is a lunatic. I try to alternate day to day. Today I am an idiot.

I am going to talk about favorite lines from movies and TV shows today. There are some lines I have heard throughout the years that I think are priceless and I’m going to tell you some of my favorites. Feel free to comment on some of your favorite lines, too. You don’t even have to confine them to movies and television either. There may be a line or two that you like from books and comic strips etc, too.

My all time favorite line from a movie is this one from the film, Rudy:

Father Cavanaugh said: “Son, in 35 years of religious study, I have only come up with 2 hard incontrovertible facts: there is a God, and I'm not Him.”

My favorite movie is Cyrano De Bergerac, the 1950 version in which the title character is played by Jose Ferrer, who won a best actor Oscar for his performance. Here is a conversation from the film:

The viscount: “Monsieur, Your nose is rather large.”

Cyrano: “Rather.”

Viscount: “Oh, well…”

Cyrano: “Is that all? Oh no, young sir, you are too simple. Why, you might have said a great many things. Why waste your opportunity? For example, thus:

Aggressive! Aye Sir, if that nose were mine, I’d have it amputated on the spot!
Practical. How do you drink with such a nose? You must have had a cup made especially.
Descriptive. ‘Tis a rock, a crag, a cape…a cape? Say rather, a peninsula!
Inquisitive. What is that receptacle? A razor case? Or a portfolio?
Kindly. Oh how you must love the little birds so much, you give them this to perch on!
Cautious. Take care! A weight like that might make you top heavy!
Eloquent. When it blows, the typhoon howls and the clouds darken!
Dramatic. When it bleeds, the Red Sea!
Simple: Uh, When do they unveil the monument?
Military. Beware! A secret weapon!
Enterprising. What a sign for some perfumer!
Respectful. Sir, I recognize in you a man of parts, a man of …hmmm prominence, or,
Literary. Was this the nose that launched a thousand ships?

These, my dear Sir, are things you might have said had you some tinge of letters or of wit to color your discourse. But wit? Not so. You never had an atom! And of letters, we need but three to write you down.
A… S…. S. … ASS!”

I like great lines in TV shows too. Here are some of my favorites:

From Barney Miller. Remember that one?

Detective Fish didn’t receive his paycheck. He called payroll and asked why, then hanged up the phone and looked up at Barney and said, “They say I’m dead.”
To which Barney deadpanned, “Probably just a mistake.”

Brilliant!

WKRP in Cincinnati had several great lines. On the show which introduced the character of Venus Flytrap, the black DJ, Venus was introduced to Les Nessman, the station newsman, who said, “I do the sports here and, I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, but there are a lot of Negroes in sports!”

Johnny Fever, DJ, once announced to his listeners, “We’ll be back with more music and less Nessman!”

And who can forget the Soup Nazi, in Seinfeld?

“No soup for you!”

Books:

From my favorite author, Kurt Vonnegut Jr: In Slaughterhouse Five :

“Listen. Billy Pilgrim has come unstuck in Time.” And it gets better from there.

Comic strips:

From Pogo, by Walt Kelley, now deceased: “Beware! Friday the 13th comes on Thursday this month!”

Oh, there are so many more great lines. There just isn’t nearly enough room to put them all on here. What are some of your favorites?