Exclusive Report: Bush Causes Hurricanes

This is nothing new. It was reported several weeks ago, that "The Martian ice caps are shrinking. As they are made mostly of frozen carbon dioxide, this evaporation could trigger an increase in Mars own greenhouse effect."--Innovations report

However, after some exhaustive research, I have made some astonishing discoveries concerning the Mars polar ice caps. Here is what I have managed to piece together:

In January of 2001, newly ignaugarated President of the United States George W. Bush, clandestinely dispatched a contingent of several multi-millionaire and at least 2 billionaire capitalist industrialists (the exact number is yet to be determined.)including several from Halliburton, to the planet Mars, aboard a secret rocket ship built specifically for this purpose.

Because the passengers were not the typical NASA astronauts trained for space travel, the spaceship they traveled in was equipped with all of the luxuries the space travelers had become familiar with, including state of the art bathroom and kitchen facilities, an exercise room, 2 spas, a hot tub in every cabin, private maids and masseuse's, and of course, personal accountants, etc.

The purpose of this mission only recently became clear with the discovery that the polar ice caps on Mars were melting. According to an unnamed source close to the White House, the men, and at least one woman*, were sent to Mars to build and perfect a high tech machine designed to increase the overall temperature on the planet Mars in order to disrupt weather patterns on Earth and instigate major Global changes.

This explains why the polar ice caps on Mars are melting.

It has been reported, but as yet unconfirmed, that the primary reason for the elaborate weather manipulation is to create Hurricanes, tsunami's, and other wide spread "natural" disasters in order to decrease the population of certain "unwanted and useless drains on the Global economy, specifically brown people, and to decrease crime rates worldwide".

President Bush was overheard by a certain anonymous ex-CBS news anchor to have said, "I hate Black people."

The retired newsman said, "You know me, I wouldn't lie to you."

When told of this amazing discovery, a spokesman for the Democratic party gleefully exclaimed, "I told you, I told you, Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah!"

The investigation as yet is incomplete but I will keep you updated as more information comes in.

Update: It has come to my attention that certain right wing bloggers are treating this story as if it is a figment of someone's fertile imagination. Read what My Vast Right Wing Conspiracy has to say here.

* The woman reportedly is Harriet Miers, recently appointed to the SCOTUS as an associate Justice, however it cannot be explained how she got back to Earth while her colleagues are still on Mars.