Sunday, May 31, 2009

What Was In My Head When I Awoke

"There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, then are dreamt of in your philosophy." ~ William Shakespeare

There is much use of Scottish slang in this. Some of the words I don't understand. I assume it would be funnier if I could.

Land o' the purple heather.
Land o' the dirty weather.
Land where the midges gaither, Scotland the Brave.
Land o' the Pakistanis,
Andy Capp and Saturday sannies.
Land where they sell their grannies, Scotland the Brave.

Used to say in faither's day,
You could hear the bagpipes play,
But now you hear the regal tones o' Elton John and The Rolling Stones.
Land that is full o' stinkers,
Wee fat Jews and VP drinkers.
Whisky put a lot o' stinkers, into Scottish graves.

Land that is full o' skivers,
Comic singers, deep sea divers,
Turbans on our bus condrivers, Scotland the Brave.
Land o' the brutal Bobbies,
Councillers wi' part-time jobbies,
Architects wi' paying hobbies, Scotland the Brave.

The tourists come here every year
To see all our historic gear,
But all they see is loads o' navvies, high rise flats wi' concrete lavvies.
Land o' the artic' lorries,
Andy Stewart and ra Corries,
Land where everybody borries, Scotland the Brave.

Land o' the Kilt and Sporran -
Underneath, there's nothin' worn!
How I wish the wind was warm! Scotland the Brave.
I must admit it's pretty gruesome,
Walking about wi' your frozen twosome!
It's all we've got - we musn't lose 'em - Scotland the Brave.

Conservatives try to assure us,
Labour's hard-put to endure us,
The Kirk puts curbs on our enjoyment, Government makes unemployment.
Never mind - the day is near,
When independence will be here!
We'll drink a toast in Younger's beer to Scotland the Brave!

I awoke with the humorous version running through my head. This is the correct version, as far as I know:

Scotland The Brave

Hark when the night is falling
Hear the pipes are calling.
Loudly and proudly calling
Down thro’ the glen
There where the hills are sleeping
Now feel the blood a-leaping
High as the spirits of the old highland men

Towering in gallant frame
Scotland my mountain hame
High may your proud standards glouriously wave
Land of my high endeavour
Land ofthe shining river
Land of my heart forever
Scotland the brave

High on the misty Highlands
Out by the purple islands
Brave are the hearts that beat
Beneath Scottish skies
Wild are the winds that meet you
Staunch are the friends that greet you
Kind as the love that shines from fair maidens eyes

Towering in gallant frame etc.
Far off in sunlit places
Sad are the Scottish faces
Yearning to feel the kiss
Of sweet Scottish rain
Where tropic skies are beaming
Love sets the heart a-dreaming
Longing and dreaming for the homeland again.


LL said...

I lived in Scotland for three years.

The fractured song was sung back in the late 70's with slight variations - still true though.

For all the council flats, poverty, quirky characters and such, I still love the place. And I can nae sing, "Oh Flower of Scotland" or "The Northern Lights of Old Aberdeen" without getting a wee tear in my ee.

LL said...

Land where the midges gaither,
A midge is a flyVP drinkers.
VP is pure grain alcoholWhisky put a lot o' stinkers, into Scottish graves.
Stinkers are pissy drunks Land that is full o' skivers,
A "skiver" is one who screws off all the time or schemes for a living Councillers wi' part-time jobbies,
Councillers means people who live in council flats - government housing high rise flats wi' concrete lavvies.
A lot of the council flats built in the 60's and 70's are tall square monstrosities built entirely of concrete - there for concrete lavatories or "lavvies".Land o' the Kilt and Sporran -
A sporran is the attachment that goes around the waist of one wearing the kilt and hangs down the front. There are different designs but traditionally it was a coin purse or ditty bag. For soldiers, it held ammunition and/or food.The Kirk puts curbs on our enjoyment
The Kirk is the Church of Scotland - Church=Kirk Helpful?

Mark said...

Yes, very helpful. I knew Lavvies, sporran, and Kirk. I am of Scotch heritage, my surname is a sept of clan Gunn.

Both of these songs can be found on another of my blogs,, which is a collection of Gaelic songs with lyrics and videos when possible.