"In peace there's nothing so becomes a man as modest stillness and humility." ~ William Shakespeare
I have been under some stress lately. And partly because of that, I let myself get all worked up over an issue that I feel very passionate about, and it led to some very heated blog arguments that I have been regretting since I made yesterdays post.
I hate myself when I get angry. I don't like the way it makes me feel when I lose my temper, and I always end up making enemies.
That is the last thing I want to do. Really.
Additionally, I made some rash statements that I didn't bother to research since I was so sure they were accurate. I had no time to do research on my posts, anyway. Still, that is no excuse. A responsible blogger would take the time to make sure his assertions are true and accurate. If he cannot, for some reason, do that, he should perhaps look for another topic to address.
Plus, I have been busy this weekend. I have a neighbor, who lives in this building, that seems to take some kind of perverse pleasure in complaining about me and my son every chance he gets, to the apartment management. He lies, even when the truth will work better for him.
Since I drive my car for my living, It is easier for me to just bring the rent check by the office rather than mail it in. On the 1st, I stopped into the office to pay my rent and I found, to my surprise, the Management company's owner standing there. He usually isn't in the office. At this point he told me he had received more complaints about me and my son. The complaints don't have a word of truth to them, which I haughtily explained to him. But he told me, nevertheless, he was coming by on Monday to inspect my apartment.
This, in spite of my evil neighbor, was the number one source of my stress. I am a horrible housekeeper. And my son is worse. I spent all weekend just trying to make my apartment presentable, to avoid being evicted. And I worked very hard at it, only to find that the bathroom is impossible to clean satisfactorily. So, I wasn't online much over the weekend, and when I was, I found myself in a textual free for all with a couple of fellow bloggers.
Trixie found statistics that appear to prove that sexual depravity in this country is in "sharp decline". So, I stand corrected on my premise that comprehensive sex education leads to promiscuity. Apparently, it does lessen the incidence of unwanted pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. But I stand by my assertion that there is more promiscuity today than there was a couple of decades ago. And there are many factors to blame, chiefly, the lack of good parenting skills.
That said, I am still angry that Trixie resorted to name calling, something which I never did to her, even at my angriest. She called me an idiot. She called me boneheaded. She implied that I was not a "real" man.
I am very much a real man. It has been said that it takes a big man to admit when he is wrong. I leave it to you, my loyal readers, to decide if I am a big man or not.
I will admit that sometimes I can be boneheaded, but can't we all?
OK. So, I am sorry.
I know that many of my readers were probably uncomfortable reading the snarky little comments between Trixie and I, and for that, I apologize.
I also apologize for anything I might have said to Trixie that may have offended her. As difficult as it is for me to bury this pride of mine to apologize, it is even harder to bear the shame I always feel from losing my temper and saying things I later regret.
I am changing some of the remarks I made in this post earlier. Some of what the commentators are referring to, I have taken out. So some of the later readers of this post will not have any idea what I'm talking about. I do this because of what Sheila, and Tech, and Timothy has said. They are right. I am wrong. I will attempt, from this day forward, to counter anger with kindness. I lost my way. I was behaving like a heathen.
Never let it be said that I am not intellectually honest.
P.S. I passed the inspection, even though I was unable to get my bath as clean as I had hoped.
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33 comments:
Mark: Don't let the little things get to you. There are too many really important things to worry about.
Okay; it's good to see you finally being honest about one issue.
You said that if you were an idiot, you'd be a liberal. In that statement you reveal what you truly feel, which is a big step for someone like you, who is used to saying basically hateful things and then running behind the cover of civility to not have to take responsibility for your statements.
So-good on ya', Maness.
Now, can the rest of us comment on how your observations about parenting in the abstract vs. your comments about parenting your actual children sport some rather deep disparities?
Or will that make you write a whole bunch of postings about how mean liberals are, and how you, regretfully, need to turn on some sort of mechanism to keep out the bad people, which never really does the job, and then you decide to let everyone else in again, with a public statement declaring same...
As we've seen happen on a more or less regular basis for the last year or so?
I am a Proud Conservative. I DO believe one has to retain some of the idiocy of their youth to be a Liberal. I mean, look at Michael Moore. Can anyone say with a straight face he isn't an idiot?
As I said, I don't apologize for what I said about Betty Friedan. I only apologize for WHEN I said it. I didn't say anything about her that wasn't true.
And to accuse me of insensitivity is ludicrous. I am very sensitive to the fact that this country has sanctioned the murder of 45,000,000 innocent babies since Roe vs. Wade legalized it. Why are the Liberals so sensitive about the death of one woman who lived a full and prosperous life, and not be sensitive to the slaughter of mulluons of innocent babies who never had a chance to make their mark in life?
I think the LIberals sensitivity is misplaced.
Sheila, it was your comment that inspired me to write this post.
Rich, if you think I am hateful, why don't you go back to your Liberal sites and catalogue all the things your friends say about Bush, Cheney, Rumsfield, et al?
Geeeez, and you call me hateful. I say again. Geeeez
Michael Moore is not an idiot.
There.
(Mark needs to reduce his squawk radio regimen).
Brandon. This is a free country. If what I ewrite is offensive to you, you are free to not read it. Get off my back. That's the best apology you Libs are going to get from me, and if I continue to be attacked for it, it will be the last one. Brandon, if you don't like it, you are free to leave and never darken my towels again. I. Don't. Care.
Michael Moore is an idiot. Read what he said about the passengers of that plane that crashed in Pennsylvania in 9/11:
"the passengers were scaredy-cats because they were mostly white. If the passengers had included black men, those killers, with their puny bodies and unimpressive small knives, would have been crushed by the dudes."
There's more. lots more.
Oh yeah, that's real smart. Again I say, Geeeez.
"I am not an idiot. If I were, I would be a Liberal." You made that statement because it's honestly the way you feel. I feel the same way and it's because of what I see liberals do - or not do. For instance, if you know anything about Canadian politics, just take a look at what their country has become because of liberals having run it for so long.
I've read through three of the last threads here and cannot comment on the remark you left on Trixie's blog because I haven't seen it and now, because she deleted it, it's too late. So I cannot address whether you were right or wrong in whatever comment you made over there. But I can say this: We all lose our temper from time to time, and on this post you have profusely apologized for it, and since you have sincerely done so, go on to other things and forget about it.
One other thing, statistics or not (and I wonder about the accuracy of statistics anyway, just as I wonder about the accuracy of polls) I believe teenage promiscuity has increased, and it would take an immense amount of proof to change my mind on this. When three out of four of my best friends daughters, who all swore they were not having sex (I talk with my daughter's teenage friends, and one of them actually lived with us for a year) come up pregnant and seemingly have no problem with that, I cannot help but feel that society has failed our children, and sex-education has only succeeded in giving them the impression it's okay to be promiscuous. To give these girls some credit however; they all chose to keep the child.
My daughter is my responsibility, and I've had to talk to her about stuff she learned in school. When you pass out prophylactics to teenage boys you are telling them sex is okay, and who do they suppose these boys are going to have sex with? So, by handing out prophylactics you are inadvertantly also telling girls it's okay. I think parents should be better educated and schools should stay out of my child's private life!
I know this is long, but you have a lot of ground to cover here!
A tip: Whenever a liberal insults me I consider it a compliment. It means I'm doing my job. :)
Gayle, It took a lot of guts on your part to come in here and offer your opinions. you have opened yourself up to the vicious attacks from the left.
You see how thay are, though? You make a mistake and offer a humble heartfelt apology for it, and you get attacked for not being apologetic enough!
There won't be any more apologies from me. Ever. If they don't like it, they don't have to read this blog. The Hell with them. All of them!
I retract my apology.
Mark,
Don't back yourself into a corner like that. Always leave room to apologize, even in the most heated of battles. After all, if ER and I can get to the point where we are not throwing grenades at each other, then who knows, we might get there with rich, trixie and the others who attack you. Just give this time as well. Fight the good fight, stick to your principles and convictions. (BTW, I don't think it counts as a cliche if it's from the Bible). You are doing some good work even though your anger comes through from time to time. Remember, there is righteous anger, which is fine. But we are admonished not to sin in our anger. It is perfectly OK to be angry over the death of millions of innocent babies. But how we handle that anger, depends on our understanding of grace.
Blessings,
"I am not an idiot. If I were, I would be a Liberal."
I chuckled. Lighten up, folks. In the context of his post, I think you are way too sensitive on....er...such an insensitive remark?
Hmmm...I could have written that:
"I think you are way too sensitive on....er...such an insensitive remark."
Well, Mark, I don't appreciate being called an idiot just because I'm a liberal. I think you're wrong to say that since you blacken so many of us who have strong moral values. Admittedly, the noisy ones make it seem that liberals are one step away from Satan worshippers, but I assure that I know plenty of smart, Christian people who hold some of the so-called liberal values.
However, liberal idiot that I am, I'm going to defend your original thesis with the proper statistics. Your point was that teenagers are having more sex. You referred to the teen pregnancy rates and abortion. Naturally Trixie was able to shoot you out of the water. But what you should have used is the spread of STDs. You noted in this post that sex education "does lessen the incidence of unwanted pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases." I don't know where you got that info, but only the rate of unwanted pregnancies has declined. The rate of STDs has steadily increased among teenagers and young adults. What follows are the stats on STDs according the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
* In 2004, 929,462 chlamydia infections were reported to CDC from 50 states and the District of Columbia. This case count corresponds to a rate of 319.6 cases per 100,000 population, an increase of 5.9% compared with the rate of 301.7 in 2003. The reported number of chlamydia infections was more than two and one half times the number of reported cases of gonorrhea (330,132 gonorrhea cases were reported in 2004).
Among women, the highest age-specific rates of reported chlamydia in 2004 were among 15- to 19-year-olds (2,761.5 per 100,000 females) and 20- to 24-year-olds (2,630.7 per 100,000 females). These increased rates in women may be, in part, due to increased screening in this group. Age-specific rates among men, while substantially lower than the rates in women, were highest in the 20- to 24-year-olds.
* In 2004, syphilis rates increased for men and women in almost all racial and ethnic groups. African-Americans accounted for 41% of cases of P&S syphilis in 2004 and 39.2% in 2003. During 2003-2004, the rate of P&S syphilis increased 16.9% among African-Americans, reflecting a 22.2% increase in the number of cases among men (from 2,005 to 2,450) and a 1% increase among women (from 805 to 813). The rate among non-Hispanic whites increased 6.7%; cases among men increased 5.9% (from 2,783 to 2,947) and cases among women increased 12.8% (from 227 to 256). The rate among Hispanics increased 10.3%; cases among men increased 13.9% (from 1,001 to 1,140), and cases among women decreased 13.2% (from 159 to 138). The rate among Asian/Pacific Islanders increased 20%; cases among men increased (from 119 to 142) and increased among women (from 8 to 11). The rate among American Indian/Alaska Natives increased 14.3%; cases among men decreased (from 50 to 42), but increased among women (from 19 to 35).
* Sentinel surveillance for cervical infection with high-risk human papillomavirus (HR-HPV types 16, 18, 31, 33, 35, 39, 45, 51, 52, 56, 58, 59, 68) is being conducted in 29 STD, family planning and primary care clinics in six locations (Boston, MA; Baltimore, MD; New Orleans, LA; Denver, CO; Seattle, WA; and Los Angeles, CA) as part of an effort to estimate national burden of disease and inform prevention efforts in the U.S. Testing was performed using a commercially available test for HR-HPV testing (Digene Hybrid Capture 2, Gaithersburg, MD). Interim results from 2003-2004 document an overall HR-HPV prevalence of 22.5%. Prevalence in STD clinics was 28%, 24% in Family Planning clinics, and 16% in Primary Care clinics. Prevalence by age group was: 14-19 years 35%; 20-29 years 29%; 30-39 years 14%; 40-49 years 12%; and 50-65 years 6%.3
And so on. The news isn't all bad. Some STDs are decreasing due to more knowledge and prevention. The problem seems to be that young people don't learn these preventive techniques or ignore them in the heat of the moment. But one thing seems clear. More young people are having sex sooner.
The point of not wanting our teenagers and young people shouldn't be advocated only on religious standards. (Mind you, I'm okay with people who base their opposition to it on that, but it doesn't reach the target audience.) No, the point is that they aren't mature enough to take the proper precautions, aren't mature enough to handle the inevitable emotional costs, and aren't mature enough to make intelligent, reasoned decisions on the path of their life. (I also work extensively with the young people in my community, particularly the American Indians and economically disadvantaged [poor for you non-PC folks] teenagers.
Not that age necessarily gives you wisdom. I've certainly made enough bad choices now that I'm apparently "mature." But at least waiting to have sex gives our youth the chance to make it through adolescence with a minimum of scarring and their fingers and toes intact.
The worldwide stats on SDTs is appalling. You can go to the site for the World Heath Organization to discover that rates are steadily increasing everywhere, and that more young people are diagnosed with them every year. Admittedly, some of this increase is due to better screening, but no one thinks the increase is only due to that.
And finally, one more thing. On never forgiving and making apologies again, I refer you to Matthew 18
21 Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?"
22 Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
23 "Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
24 "And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
25 "But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.
26 "The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'
27 "Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
28 "But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'
29 "So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'
30 "And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.
31 "So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.
32 "Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.
33 'Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?'
34 "And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.
35 "So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."
Listen carefully, Mark. It was wrong for Trixie to call you names, but she got her feelings hurt. It was wrong for you to strike back, but you got your feelings hurt. I know, oh Lord I know, how hard it is to return good for evil. I certainly am not capable of it consistently. But the attempt is good for our souls. I ask you to make the attempt. It's what separates the goats from the sheep.
I agree with Timothy. The End is, in deed, near. :-)
I agree, too, with Mannheim Baskin Robbins!
Oh, and Tech, too.
I am humbled by the remarks from Sheila, Yech, and Timothy. I have made the appropriate amendments in my post. Before before any other commentators attack me again for saying things you take offense to, re-read my post. WHAT YOU ARE OBJECTING TO MAY BE GONE NOW.
If any of you refuse to accept my apology...well, that just shows everyone what kind of person you are, doesn't it?
Rich Bachelor just made another comment that read, among other mean spirited things, "That wasn't an apology (and who asked you to apologize anyway?), and 'uneducated' though you may be, 'humble' you ain't".
I rejected his comment, but it goes to show what kind of person he is. People who do not have the capacity to forgive must be very miserable indeed, to keep all that anger bottled up within them.
Mark, I accept your apology and also extend my own for the name-calling. Please chalk it up to extreme exhaustion and exasperation during a very difficult and sorrowful week.
P.S., I don't know that I would say sexual "depravity" is declining. Just the abortion rate and teen birth rates. Tech covered the STD issue, which I didn't address.
Depravity, well, there's always plenty to go around.
Sorry to leave this blog. Good Luck everyone!
Well, I see that you've posted again since you said that..so I hope it isn't true! I would cry.
This little community would suffer greatly without your presence.
As far as the "liberal=idiot" line, I don't see why it would be taken so seriously to heart, by anyone. I found it humorous and didn't see anything mean-spirited about it- just partisan button-pushing/banter. It's an obvious untrue generalization. Why take it so personally? Mark used it for laughs.
You guys have been blogging together for some time, so I'd think you could all take some ribbing from one another, and not come away hurt or angry over something like that. (Of course, given how heated the direction of the last 2-3 posts have been, I suppose it's understandable to take everything said at face value).
Just relax, everyone. Have a good day.
ER,
If the end is near... then I'm going home to spend time with my family...
Last one out, turn out the lights. :)
Blessings
Mark,
Good move. You did the right thing. Humility is always sweeter when brought on by friends, than it is by those who oppose us. Please remind me of this when I need to be reminded of this. You know we are a lot a like. Truth + to much emotion = an apology at a later date.
That is Timothy's equation of apology. :)
Blessings
it's stuff like this, mark, which makes it impossible for me to dislike you. honest.
KEvron
You all need to lighten up on Mark.
I have watched over the last few weeks as he has been savaged, made fun of, shouted down, called every name you guys could think of, and even accused of bestiality on several different blogs.
He doesn't deserve ANY of this.
Mark's crime is that he speaks his mind, same as we all do.
Trixie, YOU brought up the name of Betty Friedan, thereby opening her up for discussion, whether you agreed with the points of the discussors or not.
Your reaction to Mark's comment was immature and even somewhat irresponsible, in my opinion.
If you are that quick to get your butt on your shoulders over something like that, then maybe you shouldn't Blog until your skin thickens up a little bit.
Mark is a good and decent man, who calls things like he sees them, and he does not attack people who disagree with him.
You people should be ashamed of yourselves.
ALL OF YOU.
PASTOR TIMOTHY...
WHY have you taken down your blog?
We all miss you terribly.
Please explain yourself!
Blessings...;-)
I'll take that as a compliment, Sheila, and as such, I appreciate it very much.
I will likewise come to the defense of ER, Brandon, Wordsmith, you, or any other reasonable, serious blogger with whom I interact on a regular basis.
What has been happening to Mark lately is NOT RIGHT, and the people responsible know better than to let it happen.
I for one am SICK of watching it.
You know who you are.
KNOCK IT OFF.
This USED to be fun...
OK Tug, the thing has been settled. But thanks for your support.
You're Welcome, Mark.
And if I have offended anyone with my last couple of comments, then I appologize for offending you.
But I do not appologize for what I said.
Come on, people...
Tug, if you had put up a post about the loss of a loved one, revealing grief, the same day that Ronald Reagan died, and you mentioned that Reagan had died in the post -- and then I had come in and slammed Reagan, ignoring your grief and showing disrespect for you AND the man who you so admire, you would have kicked my ass. And I would have deserved it. That's exactly the kind of thing that happened.
Consider "it" knocked off now.
Oh, and yes, I consider Friedan to have ben as great an American as RWR. :-)
Okay.
Agreed.
My point is that we don't have to tear each other apart here.
Some of us agree with each other, and some of us don't.
That's no reason for us to disrespect each other.
ER, I have seen you defend people who disagree with you on your blog from time to time, and Mark is one of your most faithful readers and commentors.
Lately you seem to have abandoned that practice when it comes to him in particular.
I would never treat you the way that Mark has been treated lately at your place, and I wouldn't let you be treated that way at my place.
You have said yourself, Mark is a decent man, whether you agree with his points or not.
I'm tired of seeing him slapped down everywhere he leaves a comment. He conducts himself as a gentleman wherever he goes.
We can all show him some respect.
The way I see it, a lot of bloggers owe him a big apology.
He tries to take the high road, in most cases. I wish that we all could say the same...
Mark --
I think you're right about cultural decay, even though we are repairing a lot of damage from the 1960s and 1970s. People still take youth as a Categorical Imperative, and as a result, life has become completely divorced from our musical, literary, and artistic heritage. Being youthful, transgressive, incompetent, and disdainful has become a virtue in both high and low culture.
erudite--
Whether Michael Moore is an idiot or not, he is deliberately untruthful when producing documentaries. That alone qualifies him as a scumbag.
Hang tough Mark, from conversations I have had with younger folks things are getting better despite the efforts of MTV to reclaim their glory days of the early 80s. I am no expert though though there are no teen keg parties, no dope on school grounds, dress codes abound, and abstinence is tought as the safest way. Compared to weekly keggers , smoking dope in the parking lot, heavy metal glam, coke whores, no dress codes in school, no sex ed, rampant drug use, I could go on. These are only my observations and it seems the hip-hop crowd is no different from the metal crowd of my day, just a bit tackier in dress. Based on the stats Trixie provided and my observations, todays kids are doing pretty well despite the pressures of Hollywood. I would also offer this is why the loonies here are pushing bills to push their agenda in shools blocking parents from any say so. AB606 would not allow parents to pull their children from a seminar teaching the GLBT agenda. They would not be offering these bills if kids were following this decrepid agenda, instead conservatism and abstinence are taking hold and growing as kids can learn quickly the damage such a lifestyle of promiscuity holds. To me a pretty girl in a cute sundress or other femine type clothes is far sexier than low cut jeans that make their butt twice as big and tube tops, around for years now, exposing their out of shape midriffs. Your concerns are understood and agreed with though I think a little behind. Been there, done that, and grew up. Hang tough Mark and move on to a new topic.
Tug,
I actually do have a blog... And I have been thinking about making it public again. Since I have come upon the new attitude towards the blogosphere, I might be able to maintian it without it consuming my time.
I just don't have time to post as much as Mark and ER and others. And I am also becoming selective about my posts, in other words, they are not so political in nature.
Let me think about it some more before going public with it. I don't want to have to kill it like I did the other one. That one consumed me.
Blessings
Brandon, I take those words as a huge compliment, coming from you. I like you, too. Actually, I don't usually have a short fuse at all, but as you know, sometimes stress can shorten it quite a bit. And Passion.
My father used to say, "I am a remarkably patient man"! We (his kids) used to laugh at that, but now that I am the age he was when he used to say that, I can see he was right. I, too, am a remarkably patient man, considering.
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