Bill Clinton's Legacy

To begin with, let me state for the record, that I can’t fault Clinton for having sex with Monica Lewinsky. He is after all, a man, with a typical man’s natural instincts. And I don’t care what the comedians and journalists say, Monica is an attractive woman. I don’t think she is fat at all, as they say.

I know that it is indeed hard to turn free sex with an attractive woman down, especially when said woman is throwing herself at you. Even if you are married. The temptation is daunting. Being a man, and a single man at that, I don’t know if I could resist such a tempting offer. But he should have been able to.

And in addition to that, it is generally recognized that important powerful men have, for the most part, an overactive libido, further complicating the matter. So I understand that it would be hard for Clinton to resist.

That said, we must also remember that this man was the most powerful man in the world at the time, and as such, had an obligation to eschew all appearances of impropriety. My concern was, at the time, that if the man cannot control his own sexual urges, how can he be trusted to control his emotions in a pressure situation such as the outbreak of war? If a nation with a death wish had launched an all out offensive against the United States, could a man with so little control over his own urges be up to the task?

I think we are fortunate that we never had to find out the hard way.

Lets look at what things Clinton did in his 8 year tenure as our nation’s leader that assured his place in history:

1. He gave missile technology to Communist China that would perfect the pinpoint accuracy of Nuclear missiles which would undoubtedly be used against the United States should Global thermo-nuclear war break out between us and them.

2. In 1994, Clinton brokered a one sided pact with North Korea, buying a promise from Kim il Sung with 500,000 tons of fuel oil annually and $4 billion to construct a pair of nuclear reactors for “electricity”, and, in exchange, North Korea promised not to build nuclear weapons.

As is now well-known, about six seconds after the deal was signed the North Koreans began feverishly building nuclear bombs. In October 2002, the regime admitted it had in fact been working on them since the mid or late 1990’s. But up until the North Koreans were caught red handed, the “experts” were assuring us that the 1994 peace deal had been a smashing success.

3. During the aforementioned Lewinsky scandal, he issued an edict declaring oral sex to not really be considered sex at all, insuring American 15-19 year old girls for generations to come that they can indiscriminately and promiscuously engage in oral sex, because if President Clinton says so, it must be fact.

So now, the percentage of underage girls in America routinely having oral sex has skyrocketed. Slightly more than half of American teenagers ages 15 to 19 have engaged in oral sex, with females and males reporting similar levels of experience, according to the most comprehensive national survey of sexual behaviors ever released by the federal government.
The report released September 15 by the National Center for Health Statistics shows that the proportion increases with age to about 70 percent of all 18- and 19-year-olds. That figure is considerably higher for those who also have engaged in intercourse.


Arguably, it can be said that the internet culture in America, as well as other factors, has contributed significantly to the rise in the percentage of teens engaging in oral sex, but I have personally heard teen age girls say it was Clinton that convinced them that oral sex wasn’t really sex. Basically, he has legitimized the practice. And yesterday, it was announced that the Chinese will be marketing condoms named after Clinton. They will be called "Clinton Condoms". They are also planning to market "Monica" brand condoms. So we know now what kind of legacy he has left the Chinese.

4. He lowered the bar for what constitutes “high crimes and misdemeanors”, in regards to what is an impeachable offense, relegating perjury before a grand jury to the status of a “little white lie“.

5. In 1998 Clinton bombed Iraq. Coincidently, It just happened to be on the day scheduled for his impeachment. I’m sure this wasn’t a “Wag the Dog” type thing. He wouldn’t try to distract America would he? Naw, probably just a coincidence.

6. He also bombed an aspirin factory in Khartoum, Sudan on the flawed intelligence information that it was a crucial link to Osama bin Laden.

This flawed information, by the way, is not considered as important a blunder as that which President Bush used to justify the invasion of Iraq, which resulted in the deposition of a murderous, sadistically tyrannical dictator, who was known to have used WMD in the past against his own people as well as Iran.

Of course, possibly the interruption of the aspirin trade in the Sudan made Osama have to resort to more primitive methods of soothing his headaches, so that is probably a good thing, too, but somewhat less effective than capturing him as we did with Saddam.

7. By his declaration that he had smoked pot before but hadn’t inhaled, he empowered at least two different and disparate groups - Pot smokers and conservative critics who considered the statement to be proof positive that he is a liar. Now, it’s not only OK to engage in oral sex out of wedlock, it’s also OK to abuse illegal drugs.

8. He had an opportunity to capture Osama bin Ladin but decided against it preferring to leave him to the Saudis. He reportedly said that bin Ladin had committed no crimes against America yet, and we had no basis with which to hold him. Consequently, 5 years later bin Ladin orchestrated the attacks on the WTC and the Pentagon that killed 3,000 non-combatant men, women, and children. As a side note to this, It has recently come to light that Mohammed Atta, the leader of the terrorists that piloted the planes into those buildings, was known to staffers in Clinton’s Whitehouse as a potential terrorist threat to America, but would not allow a full investigation.

(On a personal note, I think that if Atta had been detained and prevented from carrying out the attacks, another of bin Ladens soldiers would have taken his place, and the attacks likely would have come off as planned anyway.)

9. Then there was the matter of the Rose Law Firm documents that disappeared and then mysteriously reappeared (by a fortuitous coincidence that could only happen in bad novels) the day after the statute of limitations ran out on the investigation.

The untimely deaths of Ron Brown and Vince Foster. I don’t believe that Clinton had anything to do with those two deaths,( I have a hard time believing anyone could be that cold blooded, although there are some that would accuse Bush of being that, and more) but there exists some conspiracy theorists that do.

Now, personally, I think Clinton is a good man overall, but he got himself in some pretty sticky situations and instead of taking the bull by the tail and facing the situation with aplomb, he attempted to cover up his colossal blunders and by doing so, made things infinitely worse.

Thus did Clinton etch his name into the unforgiving stone tablets of history, but not in the way he had originally envisioned.