Thursday, January 12, 2006

To Cry or Not To Cry

"Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts" -~ Charles Dickens

Yesterday, on Laura Ingraham's show, she was talking about actor Brendan Fraser's acceptance speech on some awards show, when, at one point, his voice cracked with emotion. Laura seems to think that if a man cries he is somehow less manly or something. I don't know.

This wasn't the first time she has made an allusion to, and derided, "emotional" men. I suspect there has been some trauma in her life that affected her and causes her to think less of emotional men.

I love Laura Ingraham. I want her to have my children. But this attitude she has against men who show emotion troubles me. I don't think she's being fair. A lot of very strong, virile men can be overcome with emotion at times. I don't believe it's a personality flaw.

I cry on occasion.

I remember several years ago when my daughter, who was 21 at the time, took 80 extra strength Tylenol and hovered on the brink of death for a week in the hospital. When the realization struck me that my precious little girl might die, I cried. Kids aren't supposed to die before their parents.

When I think about the sacrifice that the young men in our armed forces make in defense of our country, I admit to getting a little misty.

When I remember the feeling of an enormous weight being lifted off my shoulders when I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior, I have to dab at the corner of my eyes.

When Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans and caused so much damage, hurt, and suffering, my eyes brimmed with tears.

When that same Hurricane made me realize that I was a racist, and the shame of that realization brought me to my knees, I cried.

I had to quit trying to sing solos in church because I always chose sacred songs that mean a lot to me to sing, and I couldn't get through them without my voice breaking.

When I think of what Jesus has done for me, and where I might have been if He hadn't, it always chokes me up.

When I watched Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ", and as I sat there and thought, "That's what I deserve, but He went through it so I don't have to", I cried like a baby.

When I heard about the travails of Joshua Sparling and his family, the soldier in Walter Reed Army hospital who barely survived an IED explosion in Iraq, Tears come to my eyes.

Some jerk actually sent that brave soldier a Christmas card telling him to die.

When nearly 3,000 innocent Americans were murdered by terrorists, I was too shocked to cry, but since then, when I am reminded of that horrible day, I tear up.

When I see the American flag proudly waving, and hear the strains of "Taps" at the funeral of a fallen American soldier I am overcome with emotion.

Sometimes, when I write blog posts about things I feel very strongly about, I view my keyboard through tear dimmed eyes.

Certain movies, and stories, and books put a lump in my throat.

I am quite certain, that if my fantasy of getting a date with Laura Ingraham ever came true, I would spoil it by breaking down in tears of gratefulness.

Especially since I know she doesn't respect men who cry.


Francis Lynn said...

Men crying is a sign of weakness in our culture apparantly. As John Wayne said in She Wore A Yellow Ribbon, "Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness." Goes for crying too I guess.

jgf said...

I remember the first time my DH cried. He was feeling pain for me. That made me love and admire him even more.

Erudite Redneck said...

Haven't read this yet. I am distracted by that blonde beauty. That's Laura I.? She's a righty? Sign me up.

Mark said...

That's her, ER. Ann Coulter's even prettier. Also, Lara Flynn Boyle and Bo Derek are righties.

Gayle said...

Very good post, Mark! And if she really believes men who cry are "less" manly, she is dead wrong. It's men who feel they have to hide their emotions who worry me. They bottle everything up and then - when it gets to be too much - they usually let it out in anger! Men who are grown up and secure in their own skins are not afraid to show their emotions.

And you are one of those! Kudos... give yourself a pat on the back! :)

Also, thanks for the link you left on my blog. I appreciate it.

The WordSmith from Nantucket said...

I missed that program, Mark. But I suspect it isn't so much that she is against "crying" so much as she is against liberal men crying. And Brendan Fraser is Hollywood. Her schtick is to stick it to Leftist Hollyweird and point out media bias. She and her radio crew can sometimes be very unfair and acerbic in their wit and criticism; but they also come out and tell you that they are just being juvenile and know it. They're also unapologetically partisan, and assume that you, the listener, know it. Half the time, I think they are meaning to poke fun and laugh, in a good-natured way.

Her program is very good. But there are times when her criticism for media bias is a stretch; and when they set music to soundclips, its ok to be entertained and to see the truth and humor in it; but you also have to be vigilant that you are having your emotions and perceptions manipulated as well, to think and feel a certain way.

My favorite soundclips are the ones of Robert Byrd, set to background music.

Listening to Ted Kennedy makes me cry. And somehow, I don't think Laura Ingraham would hold that against me.

old soldier said...

Mark, I don't necessarily believe it is somehow unmanly to cry. Of course I not addressing the wimp type personality that cries about hurt feelings. But traumatic events - like the loss of a loved one can bring a grown man to his knees.

I believe God tenderizes the heart of a believer. I choke quite easily at the thoughts of how God has interceded and delivered miracles.

Lastly, I afraid if Laura has a problem with me crying, it’s her problem, not mine. I don’t feel the slightest bit threatened in my masculinity.

Erudite Redneck said...

I was one of hundreds of thousands of fully grown men who cried the day Dae Earnhard died -- and fore weeks afterward whenever we thought too much about it.

Erudite Redneck said...

Damn it: Earnhardt!

tugboatcapn said...

Great post, Mark!

I cried when I read it...

Poison Pero said...

I'm a person of few beliefs, but those I do believe in I do with my whole being.

I last cried when I heard Prager announce his divorce......Before that, when I read Mark's story about his boy.

I'm very torn when it comes to family issues......Especially torn families.

Nothing wrong with guys who are emotional, as long as they aren't ruled by their emotions.

Sheila said...

Think Crying is a true display of true emotions. Laura is stuck in the dark ages if she's tooting that horn.

HOWEVER! I've had the dipleasure of watching the opposite sex force crying to get over on someone.

The amount of fake crying on the Tele nowadays is disgusting. Maybe Laura is reacting in general and therefore punishing her male readers?

Personally, I believe anyone who cries shows his soul.

jgf said...

LMC is right, you have the best quotes!

Goat said...

The ability to show and control emotion is a good trait. Choking up on the senate floor is not a good trait. I often cry in prayer and when reading of heros lost in battle. When it is time for business, it is time to perform, to act with all faculties intact, emotion is part of it. Tears can come from anger, joy, depression or loss, Rambo even shed tears. I am still recovering from my father's passing nearly three years ago. I am a LI fan as well and she was a bit off on that critique. Oh, ER, Michelle Malkin, Karen Hanretty and Carol Liebau are hardly wallflowers either.