Tuesday, February 10, 2009

My Stimulus Plan

"There can be no real individual freedom in the presence of economic insecurity." ~ Chester Bowles

I might have missed it, or maybe the media isn't covering it out of embarrassment or something, but I believe Barack Hussein Obama's so-called stimulus bill has yet to pass the Senate.

It really doesn't matter if it has or hasn't. Since nobody who can make an actual difference reads this blog anyway, I can go ahead and offer my plan for stimulating the economy.

Perhaps the damage has already been done, but I'm going to offer my poorly thought out economic stimulus plan anyway:

As long as Obama's adoring Liberal Democrat lawmakers are going to allocate spending around 1.2 trillion dollars anyway, I think I have a better idea as to who should receive the money than the various pork projects currently being considered.

Give it directly to the American people. Simple as that.

There are approximately 305,787,883 people in the United States now, a little more since I started writing this post.

That's $3,934.00 more or less for every man, woman, and child in America. Now, everyone has almost $4,000.00 to do whatever they want to do with the money.

This should stimulate the economy.

We could buy things we need, or only want. We can get health care. We can get educations. We can collect fine works of art. We can pay our mortgage payments. We can build buildings. Or move into new buildings. Even if all we do is stick the money into a savings account and don't touch it for years.

The banks can use that money to pay their executive's salaries.

In short, we, as a people can use that money to accomplish everything Obama and his Democrat buddies want to accomplish. The only difference is, it will be accomplished freely and voluntarily by the American people, and not be extracted from our already light pockets by force.

Families with many children would get more than single people or families with no children. But that's how it should be, right? The more people in a family, the more money it takes to feed them. That money-grubbing woman in California who has multiple children merely to capitalize on Americans generosity will get $60,000.00.

That should keep her in diapers for a couple of years, leaving her welfare checks to buy food and clothing.

The rich will get $3900+. The poor will get $3900+. All God's children get $3900+.

I could get a used car in better shape than the one I currently drive. That helps the used car dealers. And, it helps me.

Best of all, this idea comes as close to Obama's Socialist idea of redistribution of wealth as we could ever hope.

The only way we could realize Obama's dream of a level playing field is to take all the money away from all the people first, and then divide it evenly among every man, woman, and child in America, but that would be problematic at best. Impossible at worst.

This idea is much simpler.

And if Obama has proven anything, it is that he is simple.


Anonymous said...

Your plan makes more sense than Obama's. mom2

Mark said...

Thanks, Mom. It is too simple, really. I forgot to mention others who would be stimulated by this plan. Hookers, Crack dealers, Thieves, Scam artists, Tax cheats, etc. You know. Obama's friends.

BuyAmerican said...

Well first I would like to defend our new President, as he was left this mess by the previous administration, who in my opinion did NOTHING for the people the last two years of his term. Your plan Mark works on paper, but any research on the last stimulus package reveals we did not go out and spend this windfall but instead banked it or paid bills.

Mark said...

BuyAmerican, you are an idiot. The Democrats are wholly responsible for bringing us to this crisis.

And, "we did not go out and spend this windfall but instead banked it or paid bills".

But that, in theory, also stimulates the economy. The banks use the money in savings accounts to make high interest loans. That money in turn, goes to help people buy houses cars, do renovation projects, buy furniture, or anything else that requires a loan. All the companies who recieve payment for any of those items and services are stimulated by their purchase. The banks also make money from your savings account.

And paying bills? Don't you think the receipient of those bill payments are stimulated by the reciept of funds due them?

Obviously, for whatever reason, the last stimulus plan didn't work. And now Obama wants to repeat that mistake, but on a much larger and expensive scale. Why? Does he expect different results?

Albert Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. By that rule, Obama is insane. Are you comfy with that?

But thanks for your input. Come back when you can make an intelligent point.

Mark said...

Oh, and by the way. My plan doesn't work. Not on paper or anywhere else.


Mark said...

Oh this is perfect! BuyAmercan responds to my response by personally attacking my physical appearance.

I rejected his insult because I can.

I noticed, however he has no answer to my common sense point. Because it's hard to coherently refute logic and common sense.

Trader Rick said...

I think you are very pretty, Mark--but you need to split the money up among everybody over 18 yrs old--that gives the adults a meaningful chunk, and I believe is more fair. Maybe 15,000 bucks each?

Anonymous said...

Trader rick is more handsome than you Mark and smarter too.--The chicks who read your blog.

Mark said...

Thanks for the compliment, Rick, but I'm married and I don't fool around.

Naw, everyone gets a share. That's Obama's plan.

Mark said...


Krystal said...

Let's see, that would give us about $28,000. We could do our share to stimulate the economy with that.

Mark said...

Krystal, by us, I assume you mean your family?

Wow. Seven in your family? Me, too, but my 5 kids are all grown up now.

Timothy said...

That was kind of my idea to help the auto industry. Instead of giving the money to the UAW, er, Auto industry, just give us all $25,000 to buy a new car. That should have taken care of the problem.

Always On Watch said...

My husband and I could pool the money and get a newer second-hand car!

I'm for this!

Where is the bailout money coming from anyway? Off the printing presses to start runaway inflation?

tugboatcapn said...

Why don't we all go out and take out a $3900 loan in one of our children's name, and then just hand it to one another?

It's the same thing...

Same thing as your plan...

Same thing as Obama's...

tugboatcapn said...

Here is my stimulus plan.

If a person accepts Government assistance for any reason, they lose the right to vote until they are self-sufficient again.

If anyone does not make enough money to pay taxes, they lose the right to vote until they are successful enough to pay taxes.

If a person is not a citizen of the United States, they do not qualify for Government assistance of any kind. No medical care, no public education, no welfare, food stamps, no nothin. Get legal, support yourself, or go home.

The United States will go back on a true Gold Standard to back up it's currency. There will be no phoney money printed, nor any money borrowed by the Federal Government for any reason. Pay as we go. Whatever Social programs have to be eliminated to make this happen will be eliminated.

Tax rates will be frozen at the rates established by the Bush Tax Plan and spending and Social programs will be cut until the Budget is balanced. Then annual growth of government spending will be limited to 3% of GDP forever.

In short, I would declare that the Government will be forced to live within it's means, whatever that means, just like every taxpayer has to.

That should do it.

tugboatcapn said...

Oh, one more thing...

Zero Corporate tax, zero Windfall Profits tax, zero Death tax.

Marshall Art said...

Oh, I don't know, Mark. I think your plan would work better to stimulate the economy. I have a plan, too. But first...

BuyAmerican (an idea that would piss off all our trade partners around the world) mistakes the stimulus package of Bush with his rebate checks. Those were supposedly mostly put into savings, but your response to that was sound. Banking it simply means someone else will put that dough through the economy.

So here's my plan, which I ripped off from someone else.

There are, according to wikipedia and based on 2007 numbers, 111,162,259 households in the US. Let's say 112 million. The feds give $1,000,000 to each household. They can even tax it at the usual rate. If there's $600,000 or more left after taxes, that's enough for most people to pay off their mortgages and buy a new car. Bingo. Both industries are saved without the feds spending $1 Trillion of our dough on crap. No bailouts and everybody's spending again. We're saved.

Joe said...

Mark and Marshall Art: Both of your plans WOULD work except for one thing...neither gives any power to any Congressman or Senator, and power is what it is all about.

Lone Ranger said...

There's a basic flaw in that plan. It's our money to begin with. The government confiscates it from us, our children and our grandchildren and then gives it back to us, after billions have been soaked up by the non-producing bureaucrats. Why not just let us keep our money in the first place? No death tax, no capital gains tax, cut the corporate tax in half and reduce the payroll tax. I'd say repeal the income tax altogether, but people are so used to paying taxes that they can't conceive of how the government would run without it. Well, it would run more efficiently and without doing the 90% of the stuff it does now that is unconstitutional. Government would actually have to follow a budget, just the way we do.

Ms.Green said...

I vote for Tug's plan.

Marshall Art said...

Just to clarify, I think both Mark and I were merely acting on the assumption (and a perfectly justified assumption at that) that the Obama admin is going to spend money anyway, that by giving it back to us actual stimulating would result. No doubt, cutting taxes in the manner described is the better way to go. But we're dealing with libs here and all they know is spending.

Krystal said...

Mark, yuppers, five children. And I drive an evil gas guzzler.

Rick, but us bigger families have more people to help stimulate. LOL!

Marshall has an AWESOME plan!! Our house is already paid for, so I think I'd give half of it to charity, put some away for the future care of of special son, and then save the rest for retirement.

Tug, I like some parts of your plan, especially the non-citizen part.

My serious thought though is that the government just needs to stop taking our money in the first place. Last I heard, the average American works five months a year to pay all the taxes levied upon them. Our Founding Fathers must be rolling in their graves!!!

And for the record, Mark, I think you're quite handsome. My husband has the gote with a bit o' salt in it as well. He's so sexy!!!

Now I can't wait for him to get home...! ***wink and grins***

Carolin said...


Mark said...

Carolin. My plan would pay every man woman and child in America, regardless of their tax status. This way, even tax cheats like the one's in Obama's cabinet would get a piece, too.

Oh, and according to your link the author says it wouldn't work because people wouldn't spend the money, but save it. Duh, you know if you put your money in a savings account the banks spend your money to give loans and invest it to make more money. That's hoi you get interest. So, even if you save your stimulus money, you are spending it, thus helping the economy.

Plus, It's Satire.

Carolin said...

Mark, I'm also all for giving the stimulus money to the american people instead of the way it was signed into law. I just found that article interesting because it's the only one I found that addressed the question and gave an explanation as to why that route wasn't chosen (albeit, not a good enough explanation).

Anonymous said...

Stimulate the economy! FORGIVE student loans.
I believe, as a student, that if the government forgave student loans(at least as a start to a stimulus program)your big spending younger generations would feel like they had more money to put towards other things more often. Instead of having to try to pinch pennies week to week, students could more freely have money available to spend however and still pay other bills.

This is a start to a stimulus plan paper I am doing for a class. If anyone has anymore ideas on a stimulus plan, please speak up.