Tuesday, June 19, 2007

How Was Your Father's day?

"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child!"
~ William Shakespeare

How was your Father's day? Mine was adequate, due to the fact that my Fiancee made a big deal over it for me. I am not her father, so I don't understand the point, but I appreciate it nonetheless.

I have five kids. One gave me a gift. One called me and wished me happy Father's day. That's all. It's ok. I am not a good father anyway. It seems to me one should have to be a good father to deserve Father's day gifts.

My father was a good father. He must have been. He raised 6 kids, and all but one have become very successful, upstanding adults with fine upstanding kids of their own. None but me have ever been divorced and none but me have had kids who became juvenile delinguents, or any other kind of criminal.

My father is dead.

I really have no reason to celebrate Father's day, but I do appreciate it when others wish me well becaue I am a father.

I think my Father's day was pretty appropriate for me. I spent the majority of the day screaming as I tried to assemble an "easy to assemble" charcoal grill so I could spend 10 minutes grilling burgers for my fiancee's dad at his house. I bet I dropped a wingnut, or screw, or washer, or something on the ground at least 100 times. Who designs these things? Did the person who designed these things consider that it is all but impossible to attach a grill lid to a grill using wingnuts and screws while the lid is closed?

My son opted to stay home. It seems he prefers watching skateboard videos alone, at home, to spending time with his dad on Father's day.

But I'm not bitter. As I said, I believe one should have to be a good father to deserve Father's day wishes and gifts. It's not that I haven't tried my best, but I am not a good father.


Dan Trabue said...

It's a tough job. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Happy Belated Father's Day.

Henry said...

Yeah, what Dan said.

Timothy said...

Hi Mark,
Sorry your Father's Day wasn't that great... parenting... boy! It's hard. For so long, I thought all it took was a firm voice. That was a mistake...

Marshall Art said...

The thing about Dadhood, it never ends. That's the beauty of it. Any past mistakes can be replaced with new stuff tempered by more recent experience. It doesn't matter how one's kids turned out. As long as they're still alive and able to listen and hear, help and advice can still be imparted. I was lucky. My stepdaughters have turned out to be wonderful young women. I maintain my availability and give support and sincere praise as needed. I also am sure to let them know when they're going down the wrong path, but only when my advice is requested, or if they're gonna mess up someone else's life at the same time.

Any time a man is around kids, he has the opportunity to be a good Dad. Leading a good life in as conspicuous a manner possible provides an example to kids who might need one. Insisting on maintaining standards and values impresses those on anyone you meet, and kids in particular.

But back to one's own kids, their age, their history, their attitude about their father, none of that matters as we always have the chance to make a positive difference as long as we still breathe. You seem to have an image of a good Christian man to which you aspire. Let your faith and your values come out and they will help you mentor all with whom you come into contact. Remember that as long as both you and your kids still live, you're not done being their father.

Now I'm going to clean off the sap from my keyboard.

Trader Rick said...

My son borrowed my beard shaver thing the other day, reset it to buzzcut and didn't set it back. The result is I now have no beard on my chin only on the sides!!

Your son will come around. Maybe it will take for him to be a father, to appreciate his...

God Bless you, Mark.

Ms.Green said...

Mark, I think you should leave the final determination of what type of father you are to others, not yourself.

No parent is perfect. After all, most of us never had "parenting" classes before we became Moms and Dads.

I wasn't the greatest Mom in the world either. But just as God forgives us for our sins, we have to forgive ourselves.

D.Daddio Al-Ozarka said...

Any dad who thinks he'a a good dad...probably is not.

mudkitty said...

Daddyo - the finger pointer.