Sunday, March 25, 2007

Abdul And Achmed Part 3

"We can't accommodate terrorism. When someone uses the slaughter of innocent people to advance a so-called political cause, at that point the political cause becomes immoral and unjust and they should be eliminated from any serious discussion, any serious debate." ~ RUDOLPH GIULIANI

The scene is a small room somewhere in the Middle East, probably Iraq or Afghanistan. There is a bank of television screens almost covering one wall, with news programs from all over the world showing on every screen. Achmed Hassan is monitoring the world news broadcasts as Abdul Mohammed enters.

Abdul: Praise Allah and Mohammed his prophet! Why do you look so happy, my friend?

Achmed: Allah has indeed been good to His faithful, my comrade, Our American ally, the New York Times, has reported the infidels will surrender at the end of August, 2008! We have won!

Abdul: Ah yes, my friend, I have heard this wonderful news already. Our ally, the Times, printed the news on Friday. Praise be it ever to Allah! But alas, the bill also calls for an increase in funding the murderers of Allah's faithful, the infidel soldiers.

Achmed: That is true, but that is only an excuse to call for the eventual withdrawal of Allah's enemies in Iraq. Trust Allah, my friend, the end is in sight. Allah has secured victory in this war against the Great Satan.

Abdul: Praise Allah if that is true, my friend, but the accursed infidel leader Bush has threatened to veto that bill. I fear the hope of victory is merely an illusion.

Achmed: Have you lost faith in Allah, my friend? Has He not promised we would be victorious against the Great Satan that and our people will rule the infidels?

Abdul: Forgive me, my comrade. You are right. I had forgotten Allah's promise of deliverance. the recent surge against us had raised doubts in me. I temporarily lost faith. May I be forgiven for my lack of faith in Allah. Allah is great! Bush will not prevail.

Achmed: Have faith, my friend, our allies in the American media and the Democratic party will find a way to pressure Bush into signing the bill. Do not underestimate the power of Allah and the American Democrats.

Abdul: Ah yes, my friend, and let me not forget again that Allah has the American press in his all powerful hand. They will not fail our cause. They will change Bush's evil plans, by the will of almighty Allah!

Achmed: Yes, my comrade, Allah is great! Now all we have to do is wait. That is indeed a blessing from Allah. I need a vacation.

Abdul: A Vacation? Oh no, my friend, We must never rest until Allah is victorius! We must continue to fight.

Achmed: Allah be praised! Yes the fight continues, but if we stop our attacks against the infidels until August 2008, we will lure the cowardly Democrats into thinking they are safe to go ahead and pull out of Iraq. And then our victory will be complete and final!

Abdul: Yes, and then we can wipe our enemies off the face of the map, as Allah has commanded.

Achmed: Allah be praised!

Abdul: Yes, Allah be praised!


Francis Lynn said...

It never ceases to amaze me how reprehensible the Democrats really are. Adding $15-$20 billion in pork to the supplemental funding bill speaks volumes.

Maybe we should set a timetable for the Dems to leave D.C., like in say Nov 2008.

KEvron said...

fundie: "very compelling evidence you've created there, mark. something has to be done."

fundo: "exactly. we must kill them before my own fabrications come true. jesus be praised!"

fundie: "jesus be praised! death to all others!"


Jason H. Bowden said...


What planet are you living on? Do you really think Ned Flanders presents an existential threat to Western Civilization?

Marshall Art said...

kevron fancies himself a man of great wit and insight....


Jason H. Bowden said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marie's Two Cents said...

Great Post Mark,

Sad, and oh so true.

KEvron said...

"You clearly insinuated that Christian fundamentalists in the United States were just as bad as Muslim fundamentalists."

certainly, more muslims have been killed in the last four years than christians.

"This is blatantly false--"

evidence would prove otherwise.

"Christian fundamentalists aren't strapping bombs to their kids"

should foreign islamists ever occupy our country, i'm certain theirs will be the first children to go "boom".

"and the last abortion clinic bombed in this country was in 1998."

yet it's still fresh in my memory. which reminds me: aren't wee due for another soon?

"Yo-mama is about as nuanced and complex as liberals get."

it's idiom. from my planet.

"And they fancy themselves enlightened, and the conservatives ignorant!"

conservatives see it the same way!


KEvron said...

btw, jay, i seem to get an inordinate number of troll referrals to my blog from the google search for "kill muslims". food for thought, despite your diet.


Abouna said...

"Abdul And Achmed's" conversation is most interesting because it could very well be true. Now there is a scary thought for you.

Francis Lynn: If the Dems had been positive that they would have gotten all the votes they needed, they wouldn't have had to add the pork. Let us not call it "supplemental funding", rather let us call it what it really is, "A BRIBE".

KEvron said...

"fundie's and fundo's" conversation is most interesting because it could very well be true.

now there is a scary thought for you....


KEvron said...

"let us call it what it really is, 'A BRIBE'."

always two sides to a successful bribe, eh, padre?


Mark said...

Here is a good example of your idiocy, Kevron:

"certainly, more muslims have been killed in the last four years than christians."

Yes, in light of the fact that they started this fight, and they are continuing it, and they are the ones murdering innocent people intentionally, it is how it should be.

If America were to wipe every Freedom hating Muslim extremist off the earth completely, I am completely in favor of that, and if you love your freedom to be stupid, as you seem to demonstrate, and if you understood what is at stake, you would agree.

Marshall Art said...

Don't worry about kevron, Mark. Sad folk like him don't bother me. It's fun to watch him make a fool of himself. Eventually his mother will realize he's on her computer again and send him to his room. In the meantime, we can just point and laugh.

ELAshley said...

Mark, if you're trying to make a point by allowing Kevron's comments to post, you've made it. Now do yourself, and the rest of us a favor and cut him off.

Mark said...

Yes, EL, you are right. I let this discussion go off topic. I have deleted all comments that don't deal directly with the topic, or someone's opinions of the topic.

Mark said...

Frankly, Kev, I don't understand why you of all people would support the Terrorists over Americans. Do you realize they are even more intolerant of Homosexuals and child molestors than Christians are?

It's true. They kill people like you faster than they kill Christians. Christians don't kill child molestors and homosexuals. We just believe they are perverts.

In our country it is legal to be a pervert, as long as you don't hurt children.

If your buddies the Democrats get their way, and America loses, you will be one of the first beheaded.


D.Daddio Al-Ozarka said...

"...certainly, more muslims have been killed in the last four years than christians."

Kevron's too busy attending NAMBLA meetings to spend much time thinking.

Hey, Kev. Who killed those Muslims?

Christians? No...MUSLIMS, dipsh*t!

D.Daddio Al-Ozarka said...

It is okay if we weave our impeachments in with our relevant points, ain't it?

D.Daddio Al-Ozarka said...


D.Daddio Al-Ozarka said...

Weave in a relevant personal insult or two and you'll get a calico pattern...hmmm...

Berber Blogging
Splotchy Speech
Layered Lingo
Patchy Posting
Mottled Manuscript
Checkered Communications
Textured Talkin'

Marie's Two Cents said...


For Pete's sake just stop it!!

You are one annoying little twerp!

Jason H. Bowden said...

Clean up, aisle seven!

Marie's Two Cents said...

What no construction work today KEvron?

Get fired did ya?

San Francisco on fire or something?

Dont you have anything better to do than harrass people? Cant you even come up with an intelligent debate?

Marie's Two Cents said...


I imagine his next job with have either "Clean up on isle 7 involved" Or "You want fries with that"?

Marie's Two Cents said...

Here is something you might be interested in Kev, since you hate our Troops so much.

Troops tell

Mary said...

"Allah Akbar."

It still haunts me to think that people shouted "God is great" while they carried out their plot to intentionally take the lives of thousands of innocent people.

I'm with Rudy--

We can't accommodate terrorism. Case closed.

mudkitty said...

You can't possibly support the troops AND this war in Iraq at the same time. Morally impossible.

Trader Rick said...

I still amazes me that "people" like kevron and mudkitty are smart enough to construct proper English sentences, yet never make any sense at all.

There is no grey. You are either for us or against US is this fight. We all know which side people like Rosie O'Donnell and Nancy Polosi are on.

Gayle said...

What Trader Rick said is true, Mark. We also know which side people like Kevron and Mudkitty are on. It's really sad.

Marshall Art said...

No, wait! I want to hear Mudkitty defend and explain her last statement. How is it one can't support both the troops and the war in Iraq? I'm assuming she refers to supporting the mission of the war as opposed to simply the concept of war. Let's hear it, Muddy.

mudkitty said...

Right, I'm on the side of the troops. I'm on the side of truth, justice and the American Way. Even for those who disagree with me.

Whose side are you on Gayle? Cheney/Bush? Over the cliff?

Jason H. Bowden said...

"You can't possibly support the troops AND this war in Iraq at the same time. Morally impossible."

How so?

I know, the United States is controlled by the oil companies and the Jews, right?

If you're not a tinfoiler, fighting for freedom can only appear noble and righteous.

Dems, with their enlightened multiculturalism and moral relativism, think one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter. They've seem to have forgotten that to be a freedom fighter, you have to be fighting for, well, freedom.

mudkitty said...

Jason, you're a fool - my husband may not be employed by an oil company, but he happens to be a jew.

Note: Crazy rightwingnut jumps to false conclusion, yet again.

Gayle said...

LOL! Mudkitty calls Jason a "fool". Look in the mirror, Mudkitty.

I'm on the side of America, nitwit. I don't want this war to end up being fought on our soil, and if it is it will be people of your mindset who the rest of us have to thank. Ooops; 'scuse me... in order to have a "mindset" is is necessary to have a mind. My apologies.

mudkitty said...

Whoever thinks squandering our recourses over there so we won't ultimately be able to fight them over here is a good strategy, is craven.

Jason H. Bowden said...


Care to explain the foolishness of fighting for freedom?

I'm interested in your explanation. If removing Saddam was bad because not because oil companies and Jews control the world, what is your goofy explanation of the injustice of America's mission?

Are you a pacifist? Are you one of those bigots that believe Muslims are incapable of Democracy? Do you just hate the West? Since we are so obviously mistaken, set us right.

I'm open-minded; I want to hear what you have to say. Since you didn't offer an explanation above, you seemed to imply that it is okay to believe in conspiracy theories about Jews and oil companies controlling foreign policy, since you profess your husband is a Jew.

mudkitty said...

Fighting for freedom is rhetorical; whose freedom? The freedom of the ones whose souls have been freed from their bodies? The freedom of the women in Baghdad, who, IF they can go out at all, have to go out wearing burkas? Give me a break.

Dead people don't get to enjoy freedom, regardless of who's side their on.

And no, I'm not a pacifist.

Tell me more, oh wise one. Tell me all about freedom. How 'bout the freedom from being lied to by Bushites?

mudkitty said...

You guys don't read, and if you do, you don't think. My husband IS Jewish, at least by your standards.

mudkitty said...

In other words, Jewish Conspiracies are of your making, not mine.

Right Marc, er, I mean Mark.

mudkitty said...

Oh, Jason is accusing me of lying, now about being married to a Jew. That's rich. My in-laws would find that hysterical.

Jason H. Bowden said...


Don't evade the subject.

Why do you think our intervention in Iraq is immoral? Explain yourself.

Mark said...

Mudkitty, you said, "In other words, Jewish Conspiracies are of your making, not mine.

Right Marc, er, I mean Mark."

Huh? When did I ever mention Jewish conspiracies? I happen to have great respect for the Jewish people.

I also believe any religion or country that wants to eradicate the Jews from the earth is evil and deserves to be wiped out themselves.