Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day!

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it." ~ Mark Twain

What can I say about my mother? She lives 1200 miles away from me and I never get to see her anymore. I miss her.

My mother at her 85th birthday party, last August.

My mother is stronger than most women, I believe. She is rather unemotional in comparison to most women. I remember when I was a kid, I used to go to her to ask for things I wanted because I was sure that she be more of a pushover than dad. It wasn't till I was an adult and a father in my own right that I realized that my father was the soft touch. My mother was hard as nails, but somehow managed to fool me into thinking she was easier to con than dad. Hooray for her! She is a genius.


She saved my dad from making many wrong decisions out of compassion for his children, God only knows how often. I remember many times stopping her as she walked through the house and giving her a warm hug because I loved her so much.

Once she caught me hitting a girl, and I don't remember what she said but I know I never ever hit a woman again and never will. She taught me integrity and to be honest and helped me find Christ simply by being Christlike.

She told me one time that women, as a rule wouldn't make good bosses because they were too emotional, and yet she would have made an excellent boss in her office and was disappointed more often than she would admit to, when she was passed over for promotion.

I regret that I didn't do a very good job of saving those special memories that most people have regarding their mother.

My dad died on a Monday morning in my mother's arms, but 2 days later she entered through her churches doors as she always did whenever the church was open, the same way she always did, with a warm smile, greeting everyone with a true Christian love.

Dad was the only man my mother had ever dated, and they were married for 52 years. And she loved him with a love I know I have never experienced. The evening of his memorial service, left alone in her now empty bedroom, mom lifted her eyes toward heaven because she knows that is where he is, and said, "well, Dad, are we having fun yet?"

I don't know what that means to you but I know what it means to me.


And now, a word about my own children's mothers:

Even in my first wife's delusions, her children were very important to her. And still are. Once, I took the kids to the park without her, and we stopped to watch a softball game in progress. My wife's paranoia overwhelmed her, (perhaps it was the voices)and she literally ran all the way to the park looking for children, under the delusion that I had kidnapped them for some nefarious purpose. It would have been embarrassing to me had it not been such a common ocdcurence in our lives. But the point is, She loves her children.

My second wife spoiled her children. There was not a thing they could do that she felt warranted punishment. She said she couldn't punish them because she loved them. I don't know. All I know is somewhere along the line she changed. Eventually, she had her older son arrested, and then moved away, leaving no forwarding address and no phone number where she could be reached. To this day, she doesn't know whether her own son is alive or dead. And apparently doesn't care. I don't think she is aware that her oldest son, the one she literally had to have surgery to even give birth to, was shot last summer, and nearly paralyzed for life.

She also gave her younger son up to me, voluntarily. Last summer, during his court ordered vist to her, her new boyfriend physically threatened my son while she looked on seemingly not caring. They sent him back home before he was scheduled, and that's the last we have heard from her and her new boyfriend. After that, they disappeared.
We have heard nothing from her since. Apparently they have moved, and again left no forwarding address or phone number.

I have to believe that she either has gone insane or her boyfriend is a control freak who simply will not let her be involved in her childrens lives. I hate to hope she is involved with a control freak but I do.

Anyway, for all you mothers out there:

Happy Mothers Day!


Poison Pero said...

Sounds to me like a little Happy Mother's day is in order for you, as well, Mark.

Like I said on my post, parents who raise children without a partner have to do double duty.....In essense you are your son's mother and father.

Pamela Reece said...

Mark, please thank your Mom for raising such a wonderful son such as yourself. I have never known a more articulate, opinionated, caring man. She certainly had a hand in that and deserves a hand for it.

I celebrate you today, too Mark. You deserve to celebrate today and Fathers Day! May God bless give you all the joys and desires of your heart.

Etchen said...

Your mom sounds wonderful! I hope she had a happy mother's day!

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Your mom sounds great. I hope she had a Happy Mother's Day.